Archive for October, 2012

Some years on…

Posted in Uncategorized on October 30, 2012 by mildewed

It’s been a while since I’ve written here. I’ve frequented the internet just as much as when I was writing here regularly, if not more. The urge to populate this bit of cyberspace has, however, been non-existent in the two or three years that stand between the last post and this one. Or maybe it was there, silently biding its time until I got over the shock and residual fear of the torture this blog inflicted on me once upon a fateful time. The post below informs that story, but I’m not going to tell it.

Right. So it’s been a while. Some of my issues – those that would have been obvious to even a mentally defective sparrow and those that were more subtle – still persist, some I have vanquished through sheer force of will on some occasions and a combination of beautiful people and fortunate circumstances on others. Suffice to say, I’m a happier, much more well-rounded individual with few demons from the past still haunting me.

The ones that do hound me still – and maybe will forevermore – are ones that I have not been able to rid myself of for various reasons. Some are perhapsĀ ingrained in my anatomy, such as my chronic Generalised Anxiety Disorder that causes most of my depression – a veritable juggernaut on its own that I must battle day in and day out, if I may add. This spawns my tendency to self-destruct given the smallest chance, a tendency that has perhaps found a cosy little cave in the farthest niches of my brain, and like a stubborn, parasitic toadstool it clings to my nerves, preying forever on happy thoughts and beautiful memories, busy day and night turning them into nightmare scenarios and an endless stream of pungent reminiscence. Sigh.

On a happier note, I’ve recently got married and my lovely wife has been my panacea to a plethora of ills. She’s been that spoonful of sugar that’d been missing from the acrid cup of coffee that had been my life of late – with all its bitter stimulants but none of their sweet antithesis. What a bed of roses I now sleep on. Oh yeah, I sleep now. Lots. Whenever I want, without having to struggle for hours on end to drift off to blissful oblivion.

In short, I’m a happy guy now. And I intend to replace the morbid tone of this blog with cheerier subjects in days to come.

All hail Valium.